By wendy, on May 29th, 2010%
The new ChronicBabe Blog Carnival theme is favorite self-care tools and techniques, and will go live on Tuesday June 1.
I love this topic . . . self-care is a very important part of managing a chronic illness, and we all deserve to take good care of ourselves. I use a lot of non-medication methods to manage the symptoms of my multiple chronic illnesses (the short list is fibromyalgia and bipolar disorder, but if you’re really interested in the entire list, check my “Who Am I” page,) and I love sharing them with anyone they might help. I use a lot of aromatherapy and herbal teas for symptom control; and stress reduction techniques to minimize flares, anxiety, and bipolar cycling; so let’s get started. Continue reading You CAN Feel Better: Self-care Tips and Tricks for Fibromyalgia and Bipolar Disorder »
By wendy, on May 7th, 2010%
In my Sunday post, I promised you complementary/alternative methods you can try for pain and stress control/reduction, so here we go. These methods apply in all of the 4Ps, although they apply in different ways in different stages. Continue reading Learning to Live with Pain – Being Proactive (Part 2) »
By wendy, on April 27th, 2010%
ChronicBabe is hosting Grand Rounds this week, and they’ve chosen the topic “ladylike.” This post isn’t going to make the deadline (I worked so many hours last week it was all I could do to keep us fed,) so it won’t be in the carnival, but I found the topic interesting, so I decided to write it anyway.
I guess I should probably start with a confession. . . If you used the word “ladylike” to describe me around my friends, they’d most likely laugh in your face. I was a tomboy growing up, and I never really “got” the whole ladylike thing. Continue reading Blowing Your Nose Is Not Ladylike, and Other Truths of Chronic Illness »
By wendy, on April 24th, 2010%
OMG – somebody please kill me . . . I’ve worked a seven hour day, and 3 nine hour days in a row. I think I’m gonna DIE. Thank heavens I made “THE LIST” this week. I was scheduled for another eight hour day (plus the hour it takes me to do the cleaning after I get to close,) but the list says that i’m not allowed to put in more than six hours tomorrow. We’re not allowed to go over forty hours or corporate will have a fit, but according to MY numbers, if I work 6 hours tomorrow, I’m gonna be at forty-one and a half. I’m only scheduled for six on Sunday (which means I’ll be there seven, since it takes an hour to do cleanup after I close.) Forty-seven hours in six days, I guarantee I won’t be doing anything but SLEEPING Monday . . .
To top it all off, I’ve only got Monday off, and then I have to work four more days before I get another day off. It’s bad enough when I trigger a flare overdoing it on something I LIKE, but setting myself off because I’m working myself to death is something else again. WHAT on earth was I thinking when I agreed to take a job that requires me to stand on my feet from the time I get there til the time I get home, lift and carry boxes that weigh up to 30 pounds, PLUS having to walk a half mile there and back on the days my hubby works. (Actually, I know what I was thinking . . . “eating is good, and being able to pay the rent is even better.”)
**If you are reading this post anywhere other than wendyburnett.wordpress.com it is because it has been stolen. Please click on the link provided to return to the site of origin.
By wendy, on April 13th, 2010%
By wendy, on April 3rd, 2010%
 http://www.flickr.com/photos/dannynorton/228707693/
ChronicBabe’s next blog carnival is about working with chronic illnesses, and the subject sounded interesting, so I thought I’d do a post on it. A few of my online friends with chronic illnesses have mentioned that they wish they were able to work because they miss some of the things that go along with having a job. Things like social contact, getting out of the house on a regular basis, feeling like you’re contributing something, and especially the paycheck.
I, on the other hand, have a job I hate (and that makes my illnesses worse) because if hubby and I don’t both work, we can’t afford to eat. (Eating is good. I know this because for a while neither one of us had a job, and eating didn’t happen nearly as often as I would have liked.) I actually applied for disability, but to get it, you have to be able to wait them out while you DON’T work. After 6 months of denials and being hungry I realized that if I tried to wait for a judicial hearing (the average wait time in my state is 2.5 to 3 YEARS) I wouldn’t NEED disability because I’d be dead.
Yes, there are some advantages to working. Continue reading Working with Chronic Illness: Mixed Blessings »
By wendy, on March 15th, 2010%
I had one of those horrible days today (actually, it seems to be a bit of a pattern lately.) I’m normally pretty calm at home, but shortly after I walk into work I’m furious, and I stay that way until well after I leave.
I work in the deli at a grocery store, which probably isn’t the best kind of job for someone who’s bipolar. It’s extremely stressful when it’s busy, but I don’t have much choice if I want to eat. The real issue for me is that we’re expected to wait on customers; price, rotate, and stock product; mark down anything that’s approaching expiration; pull, scan, and throw away expired product; make deli trays for special orders; cut and package block cheeses; slice meat for the department that makes the custom subs; help customers find things, answer the phone, and keep everything clean. (Oh, you have to drop everything and update the temperature log every 4 hours, too. )
We NEED two people working during the busy times, one to slice and wait on customers, and one to work on everything else; but they never schedule more than one person. It is absolutely impossible for one person to keep up with everything they expect you to do. Continue reading Bipolar Rage: Am I the Only One? »
By wendy, on March 6th, 2010%
Sometimes I hate my life . . . (honestly, most of the time I hate my life.) It’s been a particularly bad week, and I’m having a LOT of trouble coping with the pain levels. That means I have trouble sleeping, which increases the stress, and that increases the pain levels even more. It’s a vicious cycle, but it’s gonna have to break soon, unless you can have pain levels higher than 10/10. Continue reading I Didn't Sign Up for THIS »
By wendy, on February 28th, 2010%
I hate the days when what I WANT to do isn’t possible for some reason. Sometimes it’s just “life,” sometimes it’s the illnesses, but it always frustrates the hell out of me.
I’ve started several posts over the last week, but haven’t managed to finish any of them because the pain has been so bad. I start, and I’m so “fuzzy” from the pain and exhaustion that I can’t focus, can’t put the words together in a way that says what I’m trying to express; or I can’t absorb the information from the research I’m trying to do.
Even better, my hubby has company this weekend, so I worked my ass off cleaning up before he got here (can you say TRIGGER?) I spent two of my days off cleaning, and yesterday was groceries and cooking dinner. Only a few hours of work, but on top of everything else, not a good thing for the body. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that T is here, and I’ve really enjoyed listening to the Navy stories. It’s also pretty helpful in a way, because they’ve been doing touristy stuff during the day, which allows me to get extra sleep; and since hubby has taken a couple of vacation days, it’s also let me spread out the usual weekend stuff that has to be done before he can go back to work on Sunday.
I got really lucky with my schedule last week and this week, too. I’m not sure how, because I didn’t request any extra time off, but last week I got three days off, and one short day (4 hours.) I normally work between 20 and 30 hours a week, mostly around 25, and last week was only 22. This week is even lighter, 4 four hour days, and although I HATE the fact that my check is going to be short, it will give me some desperately needed recovery time. (And on that note, it’s time to start getting ready to go to work. Maybe I’ll get lucky and T will take us out to dinner again when I get home . . .)
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By wendy, on February 17th, 2010%
I haven’t been able to cry in months… It’s just all been too much, too hard. I’ve spent hours in bed on the heating pads (not mine, I can’t afford to buy one) staring at the wall or ceiling, feeling the tears in a knot in my throat; in my dry, aching eyes; unable to release them (yes, Ginny, I’m back to the “ten-second cry.”)
Today, thanks to a very dear friend, my tears are free again. Her new post, “Is This It?” is so accurate, so much my experience lately, that I have nothing to add. For me, lately, the answer to that question has been, “yes, this is it, this is all there is, all there ever will be;” and the only prayer I’ve had is, “Please, please just let it be over soon.” I don’t really care any more HOW that ending comes, whether it’s a job for one of us that actually provides enough income to LIVE instead of barely survive, or whether it’s the end of everything, as long as it ends. (Amazingly enough, I’m not suicidal, just physically and emotionally exhausted, and waiting for the day I CAN’T do it any more, the day that waking up and getting out of bed is just TOO hard and I let down all the people I love and who depend on me.)
Thank you Big Little Wolf, for reminding me, once again, that this ISN’T it, that the pain and exhaustion always ease eventually, and that there is always hope.
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