This time, the ChronicBabe Carnival asks “how do you handle a crisis?” No matter how hard we try to take care of ourselves, there are times when things go horribly wrong, either with our health or some other personal issue. how do you prepare for such a turn of events? how do you cope in the middle of it all? and how do you recover?
This is a tough one for me, because I don’t handle crisis well any more. There has been so much crisis in my life in the last four years that I live with a constant sense of doom, waiting for the next thing to go wrong, and when it does, I plunge back into depression.
Ask any of my friends and family, and they’ll tell you that I’m normally calm and laid back, that I don’t panic easily, and that I’m very rarely cranky or irritable. On the surface, I seem okay; but on the inside, my stress and anxiety levels are so high that I constantly want to scream at someone; my hair falls out in double handfuls; and every time I think about it, I realize I’m grinding my teeth AGAIN. (And this is with multiple stress reduction techniques in daily use.)
How do you prepare for a financial crisis when you barely scrape by; how do you prepare for a health crisis when you suffer from multiple chronic illnesses and can’t afford a doctor; and how do you prepare for random equipment breakdowns, weather damage, and all the other unpredictable things that can go wrong when you’re just plain out of emotional resources?
I’m not sure how to explain it, but somehow, I manage. Mostly, I “tough it out,” putting one foot in front of the other, doing the next necessary thing until I’ve gotten to the other side. I’ve found a great network of online friendships with others that actually understand what it’s like to live with illnesses that make it difficult to plan ahead, and that know how it feels to sleep for hours and wake up more tired than you were when you went to sleep. I’ve finally learned to reach out, and although it’s rare for me to let anyone know just how bad it really is, I’m learning to set aside my pride and accept the support that these wonderful men and women offer.
My major coping mechanisms involve meditation; relaxation exercises; medicinal teas; aromatherapy; and talking things out with my hubby, roommates, and online friends. It’s amazing how many new options can be found by just TALKING to people with a different perspective on an issue, and even when the particular solutions they suggest don’t work, they usually lead to a solution that will.
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- 5 Ways to Cope in Times of Crisis (somebodyhealme.dianalee.net)
Great post Wendy! Thanks for sharing it with us!
Thanks Sheila – I really wanted to write one of those practical, helpful posts with tips that give you options for how to deal with it, but it just wasn’t there. But then, letting folks know they aren’t the only ones that struggle isn’t a bad thing either.
I love the “bang head here” illustration. Reminds me of the Warren Zevon song which has the line “it ain’t that pretty at all . . . gonna run my head into the wall.” He proceeds to suggest he’s going go to the Louvre and run his head into the wall (among other things).
I seem to move from crisis to crisis: story of my life. Thx for an evocative post on crises!
I used to have one of those posted in my cubicle at work, so when Zemanta popped it up, I was thrillled. I think most with chronic illnesses move from crisis to crisis, partly because the illness steals so many of our resources (physical, financial, AND emotional) and partly because they’re so damned unpredictable. So here’s to surviving, however we can.
Gawd I’m so glad I don’t work…had a high stress job for years as a legal assistant and often the work was just working on one “rush job” after another..so high pressure..which pretty much triggered the straw that broke the camel’s back and the FM was diagnosed at that time (even though symptoms appeared years b4)…
anyways great post Wendy, and so true….when you cope w/ pain and other chronic stuff, doesn’t take much to push us over the edge…
Hmm. I don’t meditate. I don’t relax. I can’t exercise. I don’t do aromatherapy, or herbal teas (though I have a few). I do deal with Teen Testosterone, sleeplessness, financial disarray, long-term post-divorce dramas, and general crap day-in-day-out. Yep (insert weary smile here please ___________.) When there are no reserves, you can’t exactly have a plan for how to deal with a crisis, now can you… So “tough it out” is pretty much what it comes down to.
And writing.
And hanging on to a small corner of light no matter how dark it gets. Well, most of the time, anyway. And for all the bad days, there are some better days.
Exactly . . . there’s always a glimmer somewhere, although sometimes you have to hunt pretty hard to find it.
Wendy great post, honestly it felt like you had somehow tapped into my head, I can’t add anything just know you aren’t alone