Of all the symptoms of fibromyalgia I have to deal with on a daily basis, FibroFog is absolutely the worst for me. I can deal with pain and stiffness, I’ve adjusted to always being exhausted, anxiety and stress are a constant undercurrent, but feeling like I’m losing my mind? THAT one bugs me.
I have to use lists constantly, or I’ll walk out of the house without my head one of these days. (Of course, a list does a lot more good if I can actually find it.) I have to laugh most of the time, because some of the things I forget are just SO ridiculous . . .
Have you ever gotten half way to work and realized you forgot to put on your bra? I have. Funny? Yes. Irritating? Even more so. I probably could have gotten away with it, considering it was in the winter and I was wearing three layers of clothes, but still . . . not appropriate. Besides, try explaining to your male boss that the reason you’re half an hour late is because you walked halfway to work before you realized you’d forgotten your bra and had to go back and put it on. NOT fun. Funny, yes, even hilarious, but definitely not fun.
Then there’s the issue of keys. I’ve locked myself out of the house, locked the keys in the car with the car running, and spent months of my life LOOKING for lost keys. (I’ve had fibro for nearly 20 years, that’s a LOT of looking for lost “stuff.”) I have dozens of “locked the keys in the car” stories, mostly funny as hell . . .
Like the time, shortly after I left my ex, when I forgot I had a scholarship application due by midnight on April 15. (Thank you, fibro fog.) At 9pm, I realize I haven’t written the required essay, and it has to be postmarked by midnight, so I throw something together and rush to the nearest post office. I arrive just as the last pickup is leaving for the main office, so I jump out, close the door, and run for the truck as it starts to back out of the parking place. When I get back to my car, it’s locked, keys in the ignition and running, and all I have in my pockets is my cell phone because I’ve forgotten the spare car key in my rush to get there (thanks again, fibro fog.)
So there I am, stuck out in the burbs at midnight, no way to look up a number for a locksmith (this was way back in the day when cell phones didn’t have the option of roadside assistance) no spare key, no open businesses for miles . . . My only option is to call the ex-husband who goes to bed at 9pm and get him to bring me his spare key. He was NOT happy to be woken up at midnight so that he could drive 30 miles to somewhere he’s never been, just to rescue the ex-wife that dumped him. (I’ll spare you all the ranting I had to listen to before he agreed, and after he finally got there after getting lost twice. LOL)
After that, I started keeping spare keys everywhere. One in my pants pocket, one in my purse, another one in one of those little metal boxes that attaches to the undercarriage, one in my bookbag . . . It worked for a while, until I totaled that car and got another one that only had one key (and I kept forgetting to get spares made.) I thought I’d solved the problem permanently when I got rid of the car entirely, until the night my roommate loaned me his car to go to work, and I locked the keys in with the engine running . . .
I’ve forgotten deodorant, forgotten to brush my teeth or hair; walked out without my wallet, my keys, my nametag, my butterfly clip, my bottle of water, my lunch, my purse, bus schedules, my phone . . . I’ve forgotten to eat so I could take medicine, or eaten so I could take meds and then forgotten to actually TAKE them . . .I’ve forgotten words I’ve used a million times in the middle of conversations and talked all around what they mean trying to come out with them; I’ve SAID the wrong word while thinking the right one; and I’ve gone totally blank, forgetting what I was saying while I was saying it.
Routine is a lifesaver when you’re foggy. It’s much less likely that you’ll forget something that has become a habit, but a routine is really hard to set up when you have a job like mine, where the schedule changes every week. I never work the same days, or the same hours, two weeks in a row, so my routine has become “checking the list.”
I have lists for everything. There’s the list of things the hubby has to have when he leaves for work, the list of things I have to have when I leave for work, the list of things I need when I’m going shopping (that one actually has to have the shopping list on it, or I’ll forget that.) I even have printable shopping lists that include all the stuff that I buy on a regular basis, so that I can check to see if I need that particular item this time. (Of course, when I LOSE the list . . .)
Believe it or not, Google is another life saver. I use Google Calender to keep track of my work schedule (if I can remember to enter it;) writing deadlines, including topics and submission deadlines; pay weeks; bill due dates; to do lists; and anything else I can think of. It’s great, because I can set it up to nag me daily, hourly, or whenever else I need it to.
I use Google Reader too help me keep up with posts on the blogs I follow, although it’s still difficult to keep up since I follow so many. The handiest thing is that I can just scroll down the list to see who’s got new posts, so I don’t have to actually go to EVERY blog to see if they’ve written something new (RSS ROCKS!)
Google Alerts is great because I can set it up to keep track of new information on my interests, without having to do a manual search on each subject. I don’t miss new articles because I didn’t have time to go search each of my terms, Google does that FOR me every day and sends me an email with all the relevant results. All I have to do is check the email and see if there’s anything interesting. Totally automatic, so if I’m foggy and forget, I still get the info.
Related articles
- Blog Carnival #23 – Linky Love, the Secret Admirer Edition (chronicbabe.com)
- The Emotional And Physical A, B, C’s of Fibromyalgia (hibernationnow.wordpress.com)
- More Tools from My Chronic Pain Toolkit (ohmyachesandpains.info)
I so identify with this! It’s reassuring to know I’m not in early-stage Alzheimer’s (mom & grandma both died of it) when I can’t find my words.
My worst time is in the mornings — I’ve stepped out of the shower with my hair still lathered up, and I’ve washed all over twice because I couldn’t remember if I had washed or not!
Jean – Oh, yeah – for a while I was afraid I was having “mini-strokes” because the fog resembles the effects of the aphasia that goes along with a stroke. Papa had a major stroke a few years ago, and sometimes I have just as much trouble with finding the right word as he does. I’m trying gotu kola to see if it helps, since it’s supposed to support brain function (there will be a report later on the results of the “experiment.”)
I use lists. If I could only remember where I put them. LOL I need to use some of those Google resources you mention Wendy. I hate how I mix up words, forget words, or see two words together and “combine” them in my head–swapping one syllable from one word onto the other and vice versa.
Kathy – my fog started getting worse around the time that hubby moved in with me, so when I have issues like misreading things I always tease him about his dyslexia being “contagious.” I pretty much HAVE to laugh at it, though. For instance, I’m cooking a turkey for dinner tonite, and all week I’ve been saying that we can make “tuna” salad out of the leftovers. It’s happened EVERY single time I’ve tried to say “turkey salad,” and even though it’s irritating, it’s also funny as hell to think about making tuna salad out of a turkey.
I wish I could remember the “word salad” I made the other day out of interchanging two words..it was pretty funny. And yes “dyslexia” is about right as to how to put it to others. My dyslexia is usually in transposing numbers.
oh and by the by, w/r/t your herb garden..maybe this could be a side biz for you–growing, drying, and selling herbs on line thru this site or something? Not sure what the regulation (FDA or otherwise) would be (if any) for that…
I’d have to check on the regs, but the FDA makes that kind of thing pretty tough on small businesses. On the other hand, I might be able to sell fresh herbs at the local farmer’s market. I REALLY want to take classes and become a “certified” (or whatever the actual term is) herbalist/aromatherapist, but there’s that pesky money issue again. LOL
Hmm. Could you do on-line herbal consultations and charge for them? As far as the education goes, are student loans an option at all for you Wendy? Also, where I live if you are injured at work,and thus can’t go back to your job coz of it, but can still work, you can get funding for re-training/education to obtain a different career. Is that an option in your state?
Hi Wendy,
Finally, I made it to your article.
I don’t lose as many things as I do words. That is the most frustrating to me. Also, the confusion. That is scaring me lately. I’m not sure what to do about it. I think I need a month away from my life as it is, due to chronic stress I can’t change. I have an adult son who has a disability and needs me but lately, I just can’t get my thoughts together to think clearly.
I enjoyed your post. You have a strong voice and inspiring too. Even talking about such a frustrating subject, I feel a lightness in your writing. Very well done!
I hope today is good to you! Thank you for the post.
Thanks Rosa – I’m glad you enjoyed it, and I understand the frustration. I lose words a lot too, but because my husband and roommates are very good at filling them in for me, it makes it much easier. (I don’t spend much time with anyone else, except at work, and most of the conversation there is pretty “scripted” so it’s not as bad.)
As far as the stress goes, I’ve been where you are, and in a lot of ways, I still am. The stress levels haven’t changed, but I have, and that’s made all the difference because I can cope with it better. I hope things get better for you soon, and that you have a good day today and every day.
My house is wallpapered with post-it notes; I should be on the board of directors of 3M.
@ Jean: My mother had dementia, and her sister has Alzheimers, so I was relieved, like you, to discover that my memory lapses and cognitive issues could be caused by fibro!
@ Kathy: I’m numerically dyslexic too! Didn’t discover this until I was working, generating files and assigning a number to each case! Finally I knew why I made so many phone calls to the wrong number (I’m especially bad with the last 2 numbers in a sequence)and rarely passed Math in school. Now I find that I’ve become verbally/cognitively dyslexic (was always that way in terms of pronouncation. I hear the word in my head correctly but that’s not the way it comes out of my mouth — which explains why I never passed French or Spanish in grade/high school).
Then there’s the typing — creating words I wasn’t thinking of and reversing letters, etc.
@ Wendy: I was going to make some witty, humo(u)rous remark about forgetfulness, but I have actually forgotten what I was going to say. I should have written it on a post it note and stuck it on the corner of my lap top screen! Thanks for sharing your fibro fog stories — I agree, in many ways, the foggy-groggy feeling (which is what I called my mental state before I learned about fibromyalgia and fibro fog) can be the toughest to handle. In previous lives I was a teacher and an assistant editor of an academic journal. Hard to believe that some days now!
And, what are RSS feeds and how do you get them to remind you to read blogs? I manage to follow the blogs that I get automatic emails when an entry/comments have been posted, but I haven’t figured out the RSS stuff.
PS: hope you find the $ to get the herbalist certificate. As Kathy suggested, could your work-related injury make you eligible for education funding?
Wow, I got carried away with the comment section — my apologies! I forgot to stop writing. lol
LOVE the articles and your replies. Truly. I haven’t gotten these post for a while. Tell me please how to (re) subscribe. Apparently I have major Fibro Fog. Sometimes I feel blue, with all the limitations and the stress of life, I know we all do. Being in the “sandwich” generation is getting to be a lot for me, in the middle of an aging parent and two teenagers. Please also let me know as Phy suggested about whatever RSS feeds are and please tell me where to go to sign up again. Yours, in friendship and fibro fog, Laurie
Laurie – I have an email option now for the folks that don’t want to deal with the RSS thing … It’s in the right sidebar, right below the donate button.
Wendy, I just found out about fibro fog today, then I stumbled across your blog. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. I really felt like I was going crazy lately. My daughter tells me everyday “mom, you losing it” . Last week I got lost going somewhere I have been to a hundred times. Two days ago I went to the post office and parked across the street. Upon leaving I relized I didn’t have my keys, went back in to look for them, they were not there. Went back to my car hoping they were in there. Not only were they in there, the car was running with the doors unlocked! I still have not told any one about it fearing they will also think I’m nuts. Thanks for reassuring me that I’m not crazy. Its been a little scary being so forgetfull and confused some time. You girls have been very helpfull to me.
Lori – that sounds so familiar! I’m so glad I’ve helped you feel less crazy. The key thing reminds me of the “bank experience” I had about 6 years ago. I’d gone to the bank on my lunch break for something, and when I got ready to leave, I reached in my pocket for my car keys, and they weren’t there! It was winter time, so I was wearing a jacket with about 6 pockets, plus my pants and all of their pockets, plus carrying a purse; and I know I looked like a maniac frantically digging through all my pockets (and my purse) looking for those keys. I checked every pocket at least twice and emptied the purse on the counter where you fill out deposit slips before I went out to see if I’d locked them in the van, yet again. Still no keys, so I go back in and check all the counters where I’ve been. Still nothing. By this time, I’m going nuts and the security guard finally comes over to see what’s going on. Practically in tears, I explain that I can’t find my keys and ask if anyone has turned them in. Nothing. So I start again, taking everything out of my purse, taking off my jacket and emptying each pocket, then pulling everything out of my pants pockets. Know where I found them??? The very first pocket I’d checked, that I’d checked over and over again. They were there the entire time, damn them!!! I shoved everything back in my pockets and purse, slunk out of there, and NEVER went back to that branch again. I spent two years driving past that branch to the one two miles further down the road, just so I’d never have to face those people again. (I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve gotten “lost” driving down roads I’ve been using since 1977 . . .)
I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one. I’m just sorry so many have to go through this. It’s nice to have others that can relate because so many people can’t. Now when I do something dumb ,I finally have an excuse!
Not just an excuse, but people you can tell about it who won’t think you’ve lost your mind. LOL
I’m the same. Feel like I have dementia. I have memory problems and confusion. Word finding problem and mix words up or miss out words in a sentence. I go blank and can’t think or speak for a couple of minutes. I sometimes look at things eg toothbrush and toothpaste for ages but haven’t a clue what to do with them. I ring someone at work and when they return the call I haven’t a clue what I wanted or that I even rang them. I lose keys too. I have got lost driving and forgotten where I am going lots of times. Once it took me 4 attempts to find my way home. A simple regular route. Not funny.
Lucy – “the foggies” are very frustrating to live with sometimes. As much as I hate it, I’ve learned that keeping a sense of humor about it helps. It’s not funny when you get lost going somewhere you’ve gone a million times, but it DOES make a great story later . . . When I have trouble remembering stuff at work, I tell folks I have a bad case of “sometimers.” It reduces the aggravation for everyone to joke about it a bit, and anyone who hasn’t heard the term before gets a quick giggle. (I also tell folks I have CRS (Can’t Remember Shit) a lot. They like that one too, and more folks recognize it.)
Fibromyalgia can be cured, just not with drugs. It requires a lifestyle change and use of the Seven Steps to Healing. I’m just getting into teaching people what I’ve done with patients, so I’m new. But I would be happy to learn how to do a webinar to show people the cause of fibro and how to get rid of it. Just communicate the interest through my website, http://www.lindacheekmd.com.