- Image by joiseyshowaa via Flickr
“Passion is the energy that comes from bringing more of YOU into what you do.” –Curt Rosengren
When I saw the topic of this edition of the ChronicBabe Blog carnival, it threw me a bit. After all, passion requires energy, and energy tends to be in short supply when you have a chronic illness because dealing with all the crap that goes along with being sick drains you. As I thought about it, though, I realized that passion also PROVIDES energy, and the more passionate you are about something, the more energy that passion gives you.
Work is a good example of this idea – watch the people who love their work. They always have the energy they need to do what they love doing, even when they’re sick. The passion they feel for their work helps them find a way to do what they need to do, and even seems to help reduce the severity of their symptoms.
Contrast that with those who hate their jobs, who are just putting in the time they have to so that they can bring home that check, or keep that insurance, and survive just a bit longer. Their symptoms are worse, their stress levels are higher, and they struggle just to get through the day. When they get home, they’re exhausted and retreat into the computer, the TV, a book, or just into sleep; escaping into any activity that will distract them from the misery of a job they hate and the feeling of being trapped by circumstances beyond their control.
I’ve been in both situations (in the same job,) and while I loved what I was doing, I was always able to work extra hours or whatever else I needed to do to get the job done. Once things started changing (company reorganization after company reorganization, changes in my responsibilities, changes in the work environment, changes in the company rules, etc.;) my symptoms got worse, and the fatigue got unmanageable. Instead of showing up early and leaving late every day, it was all I could do to show up in the morning and I started counting the minutes until I could leave. The job became a nightmare that never ended, because even when I WASN’T working, there was a sense of dread lurking in the background, and the closer it got to the time I had to go back, the worse I felt.
Since then I’ve discovered my passion again . . . I CARE about things, and I feel like I actually have choices again. When I lost my passion, I lost the sense that I controlled anything in my life, and feeling out of control led to huge amounts of negativity. Trying to suppress the negative feelings also deadened the positive ones, and led to a feeling of disconnection and isolation, even from the people I love most.
Now that I’ve found something outside myself and my immediate circle to care about, I find that I can connect to the people I love more easily. Even though I spend much of my time alone, I no longer feel isolated or disconnected; and I find myself more able to share myself with the ones I love.
Find something you’re passionate about, that wakes you up and stirs your blood; and it will change your life as well. It may not improve your health, or reduce your pain, but it will distract you from the negative parts of your life. It will give you a sense that you can CHANGE things, and if you think you can make changes, you CAN.
Resources:
How Do You Find Your Passion and How Do You Pursue It?
The Short but Powerful Guide to Finding Your Passion
Great article Wendy. Did you say though exactly what your passion is? It’s not clear to me, but that could just be the fibro-fog, which I swear is getting worse by the day.
It’s not the fog . . .I actually didn’t specifically say what it is. It’s this website, and doing what I can to help the others with chronic pain and fatigue to find was to live with it. It’s trying to let people know when the politicians are interfering with our treatment choices again, pointing them at resources that might be helpful, and finding a way to make a living that doesn’t make my symptoms worse.
My passion is family – not the family I was born with, the ones that abused me; but the family I have chosen: my husband, our roommates and friends, and my online fibrofamily. My passion is helping them find the unique combination of therapies that will make their lives fulfilling and happy in spite of the symptoms that plague their lives, and helping them avoid the ripoffs that will drain their bank accounts and steal their hope.
For much of my 20′s, I lost my passion for helping people, fighting for people, etc. Being diagnosed with chronic illness has reignited that passion.
Good for you . . . It took me a long time to get past the “poor me” syndrome and the whining about how “unfair” it all was (I kept reminding myself that nobody ever said life was fair, but it didn’t help – lol.) Then it took even longer to figure out what I wanted to do, and get past “but why would anyone want to read what I have to say?” I still wonder about that one, but obviously I must be doing something right, since folks are reading and commenting . . .
Amen! Reading your comments about hating your jobs, it’s like you stole them right out of my head. I’m glad you’ve found something to be passionate about; it certainly makes chronic illness that much more bearable.
It does indeed make it easier. It even makes it easier to go to the job I have now, which makes my fibro worse, because now it’s not something I’m going to be stuck with forever, but something I’m doing until I get this site bringing in some money. It doesn’t have to be a lot to replace what I’m making at work, and once I get it to that point, I can quit the job (or cut the hours so I can keep the benefits) and spend more time building up the site.
I really enjoyed this. I too have found passion in writing about and helping others with chronic illnesses similar to my own. I am also getting past my own obstacles. I was never in the poor me phase. I am more of a control freak, which is damn near impossible to continue with painful and fatiguing diseases. I’m not completely past it, but I’m getting there. My passion is also my family, my chosen family and not my family that I was born into. Thank you for writing this, and please continue w/ your passion.
Blessings, Dana
Hi Dana – welcome to the new site! It’s always nice to see a familiar “face” when you move. Thanks for the kind words. I know what you mean about the control thing, I think that’s part of what threw me because I had to learn to give up trying to control everything and start just accepting.