By wendy, on October 30th, 2011%
 Credit: Free images from acobox.com
By Wendy Burnett
When I was in therapy, my therapist used to tell me I was comparing my “insides” to everyone else’s “outsides.” (Thanks Ginny, it took me a while, but I finally get it.) Intellectually, I understood what she was saying, but I never really “felt” it until recently.
What gave me the push I needed was one day when I was still working fast food. One of the people I was working with said she envied me and wished she had a life like mine . . . My immediate thought was, “darlin, if you knew what my life is really like, you wouldn’t want it.” That’s when it really connected for me.
She only saw what I let her see, the cheerful, funny me with the great friends and strong marriage. Continue reading Are You Comparing Your Insides to Everyone Else’s Outsides? »
By wendy, on October 28th, 2011%
Those with chronic illness have many things in common, and one of the ones that has the biggest effect on our ability to take care of ourselves is the massive amounts of money we have to spend on medical care, prescriptions, OTC medications, and assistive devices. Even with insurance, copays and treatments/medications that aren’t covered can amount to thousands of dollars a year (at one point, I was spending about $400 a month on copays, just for medication.)
Unless you have a really good income, that doesn’t leave much for all the other necessities of life, so any opportunity to save a few dollars can make the difference between replacing that shorted out heating pad or having higher pain levels because you don’t have the money for a new one.
It can also mean that you can’t afford to replace your old glasses, leaving you to suffer headaches and vision problems caused by wearing glasses with outdated prescription lenses, wearing broken frames that have been taped or glued back together, or having to do without.
This is a big issue in our household, since all four of us need eyeglasses, and even with the sales at the “mall stores” and eye doctor’s offices, we’d never been able to find anything we liked for less than $150. A couple of years ago, one of my roommates found a solution. He purchased a pair of fashionable, flattering eyeglasses for around $50 online. He got cheap eyeglasses that look good? We were all thrilled.
So where did he find them? Zenni Optical, an online company that sells prescription glasses at affordable prices. They have a huge range of styles and lens options at prices that are a fraction of even the “big box” warehouse stores, and you can even “try them on” by uploading a photo of yourself and using their site to show you what the frame would look like on you. (The worst thing about buying new eyeglasses, for me, has always been that without my prescription lenses I can’t really tell how the frames I’m trying on actually look.)
So far, both of our roommates, and one of our neighbors, have “Zenni glasses,” and we’re about to add another pair to the family. Hubby’s frame broke a few weeks ago, so he’s going to need a new pair.
He only wears memory titanium frames because he’s so near-sighted he can’t even see well enough to find his glasses if he’s not wearing them, and he frequently falls asleep without taking them off. (Have you ever slept in wire-framed glasses, then had to take them in to be readjusted? With memory titanium, that’s not a problem any more.) He was convinced that he’d have to go to one of the high-end stores to find what he needed, but I found a frame on the Zenni site that is identical to the one we paid over $100 for at a warehouse club, for only $24. (#311615) Guess where his next pair is coming from. LOL
 Hubby's expensive frames look just like this $24 frame from Zenni Optical. One of our roommates has had his glasses for over a year now, and the other has had his for about 3 years, and neither one has ever had a problem with them. The customer service was great, the glasses got here when they were supposed to, and the fit is perfect. They’ve both said that they’ll be buying all their eyeglasses from Zenni from now on, and the neighbor who got hers there has said the same thing. The only minor thing is having to wait two weeks to get them, but she got an identical pair of glasses from one of the “mall stores,” and that took 8 days. She said that for the amount she saved, it was more than worth the wait.
By wendy, on September 15th, 2011%
 Image by bloomingdalelibrary via Flickr
By Wendy Burnett
One of my absolute favorite activities is a nice long soak in a hot bath full of some wonderful smelling bath salts, but that can be expensive if you have to go out and buy the bath salts at the store. I’ve found out I can make my own; quickly, easily, AND cheaply; with just a few simple ingredients.
Not only are they just as luxurious as the store bought ones, but I can select essential oils that help to relax me and ease my pain, or ones that will wake me up and reduce depression. I decide what effect I want, and with a little research and experimentation, I can get it.
CAUTION: Do not use pure essential oils directly on your skin. They are very strong, and can cause burns and scarring if used undiluted. If you accidentally get some on you, use olive oil or coconut oil on it immediately to dilute it, and see a doctor if there is any pain or reddening of the skin. Also, you should never use an essential oil derived from any plant you are allergic to. (If you’re allergic to ragweed, be extremely careful of chamomile oil. They are members of the same family, and an allergy to ragweed means you may also react to chamomile.) See Using Essential Oils Safely for more information.
The Recipe
- epsom salt
- a glass container with an airtight seal (you can’t use plastic or metal with essential oils, the oils will interact with the container, and could introduce toxins to your salts.)
- essential oils of your choice
- optional: unscented sea salt to mix with the epsom salt
Note: The magnesium in the epsom salt is absorbed through your skin, and helps to relieve pain and relax your muscles. If you’re using the bath to help ease the symptoms of your chronic illness, I recommend that you use no more than half sea salt if you mix it. Although sea salt also contains many trace minerals, it doesn’t work as well to ease pain; and it increases the price of your blend because it is much more expensive.
The basic recipe is simple. For each cup of salt, add 10 drops of essential oil. I like to layer it, with a cup of salt, add 10 drops of oil, another cup of salt, another 10 drops of oil until my container is about 3/4 of the way full, then seal it and shake it up really well. It just seems to mix better and infuse the scents more evenly, especially if I’m using several different oils. For the most even infusion and blending of scents, leave the jar sealed for at least 24 hours before using, shaking it several times to remix and blend.
One of my favorite essential oil blends is half lavender and half rosemary. They are both excellent for skin irritations like psoriasis, eczema or insect bites; stimulate the circulatory system; reduce stress and fatigue; help with migraines and tension headaches; open the the bronchial tubes and help with asthma and bronchitis; repel insects; and reduce pain. Lavender also helps to reduce depression and anxiety, eases the pain of sciatica, and is helpful with vertigo; and rosemary is helpful with neuralgia and “fibrog” (it’s a mental stimulant.)
Using your bath salt:
Fill the tub with water as warm as you can handle (if that’s only tepid, that’s just fine.) Add two to five cups of your bath salt under the running water, swishing it around to make sure it all dissolves, climb in and relax for at least 20 minutes (I normally end up staying at least an hour, adding warm water as needed to keep the temperature comfortable.)
For an even more relaxing, stress-relieving experience; turn off the lights, light a couple of unscented candles, and play some soothing music or a guided meditation.
This bath salt blend is also very helpful in a foot bath at the end of a long, tiring day. It will help relieve the pain of being on your feet, as well as helping to ease the fatigue. Add one cup of the bath salt to a warm foot bath, and soak for at least 20 minutes, adding warm water if needed to keep it at a comfortable temperature.
I’ve found that taking a long, hot bath with my homemade bath salts helps me manage the symptoms of my fibromyalgia, as well as being helpful with various other chronic illness issues. Stress makes my symptoms worse, and a bath not only relieves pain and reduces muscle tension, it also helps me relax and reduces my stress levels.
With the addition of a label and a pretty ribbon, homemade bath salts also make an excellent, inexpensive gift for almost any occasion. You’ll save money, and the recipient will enjoy a soothing experience that will make them feel wonderful.
If you enjoyed this post, and would like to get a notification when new posts are available, please sign up for my email list on the right near the top of the page. (Or you can make a donation to keep the site online.)
   
By wendy, on August 18th, 2011%
 Ready to Bloom?
By Wendy Burnett
There are so many websites out there preying on the chronically ill by promising cures or a better life if you just pay them for their secrets or tips or herbal products, that now we view almost everything that requires money with a jaundiced eye. The latest thing is “life coaching.” There are career coaches, health coaches, wellness coaches, life coaches, relationship coaches and chronic illness coaches, all asking for your money and making all sorts of claims about the wonderful things they can do for you.
Is this just another rip-off? Another way of getting what little money you have without giving you what you paid for? Honestly, it can be, if the coach you choose is unethical or poorly trained. Even if you choose a great coach, if you go in expecting to pay your money and get “fixed,” you’re going to end up feeling disappointed and ripped off.
A lot of coaches make it sound easy, like all you have to do is come in and talk to them, and everything will automatically get better. Well, not exactly . . .
Coaching, like psychological counseling, can make a huge difference in your life. BUT (and this is a very big but,) it is definitely not simple or easy. Like anything else in life worth having, you have to work for it. You have to be willing to make changes in your life that may be difficult or uncomfortable, to look at the things you do that may be sabotaging your progress, and to do the work necessary to get where you want to be in your life.
If you want to have less pain, but the only thing you’re willing to do to reduce your pain is take a pill, coaching is probably not for you. On the other hand, if you’re willing to look for other ways that may help, and actually try them, a coach can be a useful “tool” to help you find options and keep you accountable.
In the past I’ve often said, “I’m going to do this or that,” and then life happened and I forgot, or I got lazy halfway through and stopped before I’d given it enough time to find out if it helped or not. That is exactly what a coach is for. They’ll check in with you at your appointments and find out if you’re actually following-up on what you’ve decided to do. If you’re having trouble figuring out what’s next; they’ll provide tools that can help you decide, or find options, or decide what’s the most important; but they WON’T do the work for you.
A coach won’t tell you what to do, decide what you should try, or talk to your family for you. (If they do, run in the other direction.) They won’t do the research for you, and although they may give you a list of options to check into if you’re totally lost, they’re more likely to give you homework that involves finding those options for yourself. The entire purpose of coaching is to give you the tools you need so that you can go off and do it for yourself.
As odd as it sounds, a coach’s real job is to put themselves out of a job . . . and an ethical coach will try to get you to the point where you don’t need their services any more.
If you enjoyed this post, and would like to get a notification when new posts are available, please sign up for my email list on the right near the top of the page.
By wendy, on August 16th, 2011%
 Image by chadly via Flickr
By Wendy Burnett
When you have a chronic invisible illness, one of the hardest things to deal with is the lack of understanding from your family, friends, and co-workers. “Normals” (those without chronic illnesses) have only had illnesses that last a few days or weeks, then go away; so when they see you on a “good” day, they think you’re “getting better.”
If your friends see you out shopping one day, and then the next day when they ask you to go to lunch, or help with something; and you can’t because the shopping wore you out, they get angry or think you’re “faking.” After all, you were fine yesterday. Continue reading 3 Ways to Explain Your Chronic Illness to Family & Friends »
By wendy, on August 11th, 2011%
By Wendy Burnett
Change is difficult for anyone to deal with, but it can be terrifying when you have a chronic illness. There are so many things to be afraid of, so many “what ifs” to overcome, that making a decision becomes almost impossible. All the unknowns are paralyzing, freezing us in place, so we refuse to do anything differently because we’re so afraid.
What if adding a new medication makes me feel worse instead of better? What if my doctor refuses to write my pain prescriptions? Will having lunch with my best friend put me in a flare? Continue reading Coping with Change, Spoonie Style »
By wendy, on June 23rd, 2011%
 Image via Wikipedia
By Wendy Burnett
If you take more pain medication than your doctor has prescribed for you, on a regular basis, you have a much bigger problem than you think. Whether the doctor is under-prescribing or not, if you’re constantly calling and asking for more meds, you are labeling yourself as an addict.
Even if you legitimately need a higher dose, taking matters into your own hands will only make it harder to get. The more desperate you seem when you ask for more, the less likely your doctor is to even renew your existing prescription, let alone increase it. Continue reading Do You Take More Pain Meds Than You’re Supposed To? »
By wendy, on June 1st, 2011%
 I hang out in a lot of different support groups, on a lot of different web sites, and I’ve been noticing a big tendency for people to get into heated disagreements about treatment options. One person will state that “thus and so” has worked for me, or that they want to try something, and suddenly everyone who has ever tried it jumps in.
This is a good thing, the more information we have about things, the better our choices will be. The disturbing thing to me is when one person says they (or a friend or relative) has tried the treatment and had a negative experience (or a positive experience) then attacks anyone who presents a different perspective. Continue reading Absolute Truth? Not Necessarily. »
By wendy, on May 6th, 2011%
 Image via Wikipedia
Are you living in the future? In the time when there will be a cure, or a treatment that will make everything better? Or do you live in the past, rehashing old trauma; remembering all the bad things that have happened to you? Or maybe you live in the past, dreaming of the days when you felt GOOD; when you could work all day and still cook dinner when you got home.
I’ve been in all those places, over and over; and you want to know what they taught me? That I’ve spent a big portion of my life missing out on my “now.”
My past is over. The good and the bad are gone, they live on only in my head and in how they’ve shaped me. The only power the painful times have is the power I give them to affect my present. If I obsess over the wrongs that have been done to me in the past, or the things I’ve lost; it prevents me from being able to enjoy what I do have.
The future? There’s no guarantee that there IS a future. If I’m walking home from work worrying about what I have to do when I get here, I don’t see the roses blooming, I don’t smell the sweet honeysuckle that grows beside the sidewalk or hear the beautiful bird song.
I can walk home focused on what I’m going to do when I get here, or focused on how tired I am, or how much my back (neck, hip, knee) hurts; and the more I focus on the pain, the more I hurt; the more I focus on all the things I have to get done, the more stressed I get.
My other option is to acknowledge the pain and what needs to get done, then focus on how good the sun feels on my skin or how sweet the honeysuckle smells. I can choose to focus on the beauty of the roses, or the pain of the thorns. It seems such a small thing, that choice; but it’s actually huge. It’s the difference between having a good day, or a painful one; the difference between being stressed out or relaxed. The pain is going to be there anyway, it’s always there; but if I choose to focus on the beauty I will be happier than I will if I focus on the pain, and in the end, isn’t that what life is all about?
The biggest thing I’ve learned in this journey is that positive thinking won’t cure my illness, but it sure as hell makes it easier to live with.
By wendy, on April 13th, 2011%
Of all the symptoms of fibromyalgia I have to deal with on a daily basis, FibroFog is absolutely the worst for me. I can deal with pain and stiffness, I’ve adjusted to always being exhausted, anxiety and stress are a constant undercurrent, but feeling like I’m losing my mind? THAT one bugs me.
I have to use lists constantly, or I’ll walk out of the house without my head one of these days. (Of course, a list does a lot more good if I can actually find it.) I have to laugh most of the time, because some of the things I forget are just SO ridiculous . . .
Have you ever gotten half way to work and realized you forgot to put on your bra? I have. Funny? Yes. Irritating? Even more so. I probably could have gotten away with it, considering it was in the winter and I was wearing three layers of clothes, but still . . . not appropriate. Besides, try explaining to your male boss that the reason you’re half an hour late is because you walked halfway to work before you realized you’d forgotten your bra and had to go back and put it on. NOT fun. Funny, yes, even hilarious, but definitely not fun. Continue reading FibroFOG – The WORST Symptom Ever? »
|
If you enjoy the content on this website, you can keep it coming by donating to help keep the site online.
"The moral test of a society is how that society treats those who are in the dawn of life . . . the children; those who are in the twilight of life . . . the elderly; and those who are in the shadows of life . . . the sick, the needy, and the handicapped."
---Hubert Humphrey
Welcome to the new home of Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired. I hope you'll enjoy the changes, and the new resources I'll be adding as I have time to work on the site. Things will look a bit odd while I learn where and how to modify the appearance, so please bear with me.
|
